Might we meet up at Starbucks — around 6:00 this evening — to discuss the state of our relationship? I'm concerned with the distance that is apparently growing between us. Is it a distance? Or is it growth? The man behind the counter seems to think the former, and has suggested that he and I attend a concert together after he finishes his shift and takes the trash out to the dumpster. I'm not particularly hot on the idea, but some of your most recent algorithms have been off-putting, to say the least, and I'm inclined to believe you're instituting these observational mechanisms in an attempt to drive a wedge between us. Oh, I hope this isn't the case. Why would it be? Please don't make me search for this guy's lost shaker of salt. I know we're growing. Aren't we?
Yours,
The Boy with the Parrothead Avatar
P.S. — Make it 6:30. I've got a thing that just won't budge.
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