Thursday, January 7, 2016

an unfinished novel about _____ and the sacrifices made to _____ (?) during the process [2011]














prologue:  [     ]

            (...)
"Yeah?"
  "[     ]?  It's Daphne."
(...)
"...as the only way I keep up with my life.  I like acting immoral..."
"...on cold hard concrete.  I don't think it..."
  "...I'm also unsure whether something happened or..."
(...)
"...you imagined it.  It had been boarded up, so I just gave her..."
(...)
"...a glance at Mark, gathered the stuff, and...you imagined it when Lois..."
"...the windows to see the market..."
"...turns out...that appealed to dirty old men.  I wondered if he had dipped into..."
"...for magazines.  And...Lois is absolutely next?  Whatever...I want..."
"...can an acid..."
(...)
"...isn't my name.   Consider how long I sat...it on that...list..."
"...feeling what you're...I've done before..."
"...at all illegal..."
"...to..."
"...clinician..."
"...intercom."
(...)
"[     ]?  [     ]?"
(...)















chapter 1:  a (contagious) framed photo of the only person I hate

"I can help"
(...)
that way it did

I needed it
I knew I was craving     (among other things)
the "maybe" of the previous nights

he just said "make it noon"     
I shook his tit hand     
I was in so much crude time
  but spit the gum out just the same

  I kept breathing suspicious television 
the day after I started to dance for you
(I don't think)     "I really don't understand"     Tracy (then she smiled)
candy-ass instead     of course     I just think a sexual wisecrack   

that would be the way I was
in private     "make some"  

                                                these young false drug posers 
fuck impersonations of 
drug culture while sucking the cops
with their all
as any unholy demon would do
  "it's a long pearl strand"     goo-dried booze
with some kind of disease

someone stole their drugs
(she should stop whining) "please"
I did     then I don't know how I felt
  not anymore

"I might have been started
  but I never get my time"

[she left a Polaroid picture of herself
beside the naked corpse]
















chapter 2:  M.A.S.S. (silently weighed)

simply sick in the "mail and secure storage" mouth     (no breaking it down)
it didn't take every trick in the east to change your mind
  "the first letter is A, B or C"
I had a feeling I'd love two women
  (...)

                                    a very [     ]-sounding man answered
                                    the answers did not die: 
  no apparent friends
troubled possible home life
casually fatal little disease
too incoherently cheerful

getting  a  bunch
of     appetizers
"yeah     some do"
"I'm not sure why"
"I twitched against her buttock"
"I told her to sit in the rear"
"she didn't even have a secret"
"coast clear?"
"where are you talking about?"
"the feasibility"
"I mean     sure     this happens"
"I realized that"

that  kitten mumbled [with]
[her] hands on [the]
keychain

in fact     the M.A.S.S. pole is: A VERY OLD SOLID fact DOOR
                                                 [in a whisper     "heavy"]

I no longer wanted to be there
a very [     ]-sounding man answered

                                                            (...)

[if] I can in any way "make it noon"     then
put your glance     (as only you wanted to tell you)
in each "please"     and stay out of "maybe"

every                         [birth]
[photograph] once
for
[listening] she
because [animal] [intruders]  
                                                      [handful] we
not [thinking]  
[simplicity] [inalienable] of
would
not [forget]
[admired] that [length]
of
his
[core]

[with a thud     "quiet"]
he:
"I
can
help"

[he collected samples of fecal matter
from a toothbrush found in the trash]
















chapter 3:  she made a beautiful fire 
(drawing her into the cold day)

looking into reality pulled her soul...     (combined)     ...this wasn't the hallway     
  so
I tried it...     (forget the drinking)     ...another storm had passed
  the atmosphere     it turns out     [is] myself and strangers

it
meant
the 
dance
floor
[became]
a
nightstand
.
. I was trying to think about it
. even though I only pissed like that
to quickly
talk now I'm drinking
to beer     guiltily
[as]
I
slunk
away

she would've had nothing left at...     (in church)     ...she lay down on the corduroy
sick
a child in real…     (that's why I'm here)     ...by biting her right hand
  I thought the other     covered [in] tin     mellowed her some

she something else I [know]
had a (sort of) myself
just checking to make ourselves
[lied] free
for of that low find
me
and
was
.
.
.
or
had
me
out
for
[the]
day
even so...     (I fondle her beer)     ...it's just that when the soccer tickets felt really fateful
and
she kept his piece of...     (okay)     ...I would be enough for Daphne    
to convince a button     to enhance time     it feels like us     

with
togetherness
amongst
his
[friends]
.
.
.

[the housekeeper that found the man
spoke very little English]
















chapter 4:  paying attention to his gourd

                                        empty shell on the heated seat

nothing could make him admit it

                    "I'm naked     I'm naked."


I hadn't drank     I hadn't taken off my shoes     I told her that I got sick
  and [that] I had scratched my fucking car

she ran over and over it     (that was bad)     she was gazing at me
and she screamed out loud as I was thinking
"if Lois hadn't been fully clothed
she would [have] looked
simply contorted"
"no question"

                                        the rich smell sensible people

nobody was really understanding her

                    "I'm Daphne     come on up"


there was a shell     an investigator     Rick Davis     no comment     
judging by [the] roaches     the hallway and her bathroom
"shit     everybody who ate it [was] refusing to get more"
this is May     I thought you probably walked into an...     afraid

learn to accept
you gave that back
though if you showed it     she [would] probably still pay
I concentrated     ate an [orange]     and watched them wishing for anything to [happen]
"so     is [he] off     or [on] hold"

                    "do it     flip her and look"


[the forensics guys found a dog collar
hidden in the underwear drawer]



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