Everyone has 6 names. [2011]

COMPLETE NAME:  George Matthew Mapes

DJ NAME [favorite paper product] + [favorite zoo animal]:  DJ Cardboard Capybara

PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE NAME [first initial] + [favorite car] 

+ [any German language verb] 

(be mindful of potential opportunities for alliteration): G. Eldorado Erschrecken 

JUGGALO NAME [the last bodily fluid you secreted outside of your own bathroom] 

+ ["fucker", "murder", or "killer"] + [shortened version of your middle name]: Piss Fucker Matt

ROBOT NAME [brand name of the first computer you ever owned] 

+ [any word beginning with your last initial and ending in "ize"] 

+ [convert each letter of your complete name to its number in the alphabetical sequence 

(A=1, B=2, etc.), then add them all up] + [first letter of your mother's middle name]: 

Tandy Metastasize 151 G

NAME TO WHICH YOU ANSWER WHEN YOU'RE HANGING OUT AT 

THE SPORTS BAR WITH YOUR DRUNK, IDIOTIC BUDDIES 

["the"] + [last name hyphenated with "(a)tronic" or "(o)matic"] 

+ [literally any loosely related noun chosen at random]: The Mapes-atronic Beard