…can't shoot 'em
…can't flush 'em down the toilet
…can't throw 'em out the window with a rope around their neck
…can't put 'em in the bathtub with a plugged-in toaster
…can't call the cops on 'em
…can't frame 'em for murder
…can't chase 'em into the trailer park across the way
…can't stick 'em with a cattle prod
…can't piss 'em off by marrying their sister
…can't call 'em Tuesday
…can't beat 'em senseless and leave 'em in a heap beside their car
…can't flay 'em and dip 'em into a vat of salt water
…can't toss 'em into a threshing machine
…can't deprive 'em of food and water
[…]
…can't apologize to 'em when you realize you were wrong about 'em
Ugh. Mondays.
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